North Korea

I went to North Korea on the weekend.

ooooooooh.

Really, I went to 금강산 (Keumgang Mountain) which is more like a North Korean theme park run by South Koreans (Hyundai specifically).

A poster advertising Hyundai Express Delivery. Not likely anyone in North Korea will be using their services.


Although I had a strange feeling that most of the people working in the "South Korea Town" were probably South Koreans anyway since when we did see a North Korean they would be wearing either a Kim Jong Il lapel pin or one of his father (the latter proving far more common). The strange thing about this mural is that you can not take photos of it yourself. It must be done by a North Korean, one called by the service desk in front of the hotel opposite. We decided that the father is a far better representative of North Korea than the son, who looks a little odd.



We also went to a health spa (온천장). Of course, everything is Korean style so we were stark naked. The funny thing was, and this is something all people who are self-conscious might like to think about, I wasn't too concerned about being naked because everyone else was naked too. Often when people have issues with nudity it's because there are others around who aren't naked. Here, I felt like a polar bear lounging around outside without a care in the world.

We also went to a water spring on our first day. We were told that drinking one cup would take ten years off your life. Which would make sense since they have conducted underground nuclear tests. What they meant was that it would make you look ten years younger. Which would make me 17. Not sure if I want to look like that again.
Of course, none of this is really backed up by evidence except that the Dear Leader said it was so. It therefore must be true. For in North Korea the rain does not irrigate the fields and the sun does not warm the land. Kim Jong Il's tears of joy and his radiant glow provide all a farmer would need for survival. And naturally, all the carvings on the mountain were made by the Dear Leader with his laser eyes.

Finally, this post has been a long time cumming. Here are some gratuitous photos of South Korean products.
In the foreground we have a Mr.Big chocolate bar. For the Aussies, it's just like a Picnic but with fewer peanuts and much less chocolate (rice is cheap here).
In the background we have Dick Sticks. These ones are bulgogi flavour, which literally translates to 'fire meat'.
Lastly, this is 벌떡주 (beol ddeok ju), some kind of alcohol which I assume has potent powers.





Although, what really made my day was seeing two North Korean girls in hanboks running and giggling at night from our hotel room.